Building relationships in cultures that don't do small talk

Small talk is an essential part of the "getting to know you" dance in the U.S. You smile, make eye contact, shake hands, and then flit across a series of surface topics such as the weather, sports, television, traffic, what you do for a living, or where you're from. The point is not to become best friends forever, but to establish an instant rapport which puts people at ease. It is also an opportunity to project key messages about yourself and scan for the same messages in the other person (for example: I am friendly, cheerful, confident, and worth getting to know).

Unfortunately, when we go abroad or work with people from different countries, our well-intentioned attempts at small talk can fall flat. This can be jarring, and presents a challenge: if our old reliable small talk doesn't help us establish a rapport or project the right messages, then how do we go about getting to know people and build relationships?

To address this very question, Melissa wrote a new article at Harvard Business Review with Andy Molinsky, called “Building Relationships in Cultures That Don’t Do Small Talk.” We invite you to read the original article at HBR via this link (also pasted below), reflect on your own cultural style for getting acquainted, and reach out to us for additional coaching and training.

https://hbr.org/2015/04/building-relationships-in-cultures-that-dont-do-small-talk

For now, we leave you with this advice: "Small talk may not be universal, but relationships are. Smart managers realize this and adjust their behavior and expectations for establishing these relationships whenever doing business abroad."

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Copyright 2015, Melissa Hahn. Disclaimer: This post is for general information purposes only. You should not rely on it as a basis for making business, legal or other decisions. Melissa Hahn and Hahn Cultural Consulting are not responsible or liable for any loss or damage that arises from your use of this content.